It’s true, I fell victim, I joined a dating site. Sry, last year. I’m already off the site, but oh the stories I have…
Ok, I’ve had a few friends in the past join the sites, some have met their husbands or wives and others have just gone on bloody awful dates. I think if you live near a big city or in a big city joining these sites is prbly a great way to meet people. But when you move back to the town you grew up the dating pool is a little small. Mostly because I know them from high school or knew their girlfriend in high school. So, I thought to myself “what the hell, I will join one of those dating sites and meet new people.” I went and started filling out the form to see whom I’m compatible with (yes I joined a good one – no tinder shit for me) and they asked really great questions:
- Do you smoke?
- Do you drink?
- What is your religion?
Now I know this seems important to ask but really? I was married for 18 years, the questions I want answered are:
- Do you leave your clothes on the bathroom floor?
- Do you put the toilet paper over or under?
- Can you fix a toilet?
- Do you know how to balance your checking account?
These are the day to day things you deal with in a relationship, you know the ones that drive you bat shit crazy and you hold back the emotion because of it, until you blow up and act like a lunatic. Yep, that’s what I need to know. The knitty gritty stuff.
I wrote a great (and VERY honest, I even sited my nerdiness and loud laugh.) profile and put up pics (that were recent!). This is important, as one gentleman I met at Starbucks said he was 45 and so the picture showed but when he arrived, was 65. Not a good start as it was only my first cup of joe for the day and my sense of humor hadn’t quite kicked in yet. Another gentleman I met read my profile and contacted me saying he “read my profile” and would like to meet. Great. We met at a cafe for breakfast and within 10 minutes I found out he didn’t like kids and his technology job was fixing VCR’s at the local jail. Um, first off my profile had said I had children and fixing VCR’s is not a tech job, hate to burst that bubble, but I have a technology degree and we didn’t study VCR repair.
But my favorite guy who contacted me. The KISS impersonator. Yep, you read that right and his profile pic was him dressed as Gene Simmons. A very large older Gene Simmons in FULL MAKEUP. I cancelled my account. I’m not ready for all that yet. I’ll stick to washing my hair and doing my nails on the weekend.