Personal Reflections

How to spot a Douche-Bag

While getting back into the dating scene, I have thought to myself: that was a total douche-bag move.  Chances are the person probably isn’t a complete douche-bag (from here on out I will use DB as my mom reads these – Hey Mom!) but I have devised a list of qualities that you can quiz on, be it for yourself or someone you are dating.  I made sure I am giving you the correct information so of course I went to the all knowing Urban Dictionary…  I know, I crack myself up.  Their definition of a DB:

Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and a$$hole, however not yet reached f****r or motherf****r. Not to be confused with douche.

This is a great definition!!!  Although I was still a little perplexed so I of course had to research the other names on their scale. Wow, just wow.  I will let you do that on your own.  But I got more understanding on what exactly a DB is.  After doing some more research I came across this great “Scale”.  Obviously I am not the only one wondering how to figure out if people are date-able.


From this graph I would have to say half the population are DB’s.  I have a hard time believing this or maybe they just need to grow up and out of being this way.  Sometimes it takes a few knocks in life to learn how to be a “normal person.” I am not even going to try and define normal in this blog.

So what to look for when trying to spot a DB?  How much chest hair is showing? Are they using to many hair products? Do they take longer to get ready than the average woman? And the big one…  Do they make eye contact with you when having a conversation or do they look about a foot south the whole time (for those of you who cannot math I’m talking about your boobs)?  No, these are not definitive clues but I think it’s a pretty good start on the identification process.

So I have to ask, how do you go about figuring out someone is a DB?  Guys, any input here and to be fair I will do one on crazy women soon.  Not that those actually exist. hehehe

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