Ok, I am at a spot in life that I answer to NO ONE! I don’t live with anyone (sans the kiddos), I am not dating anyone and I am only responsible for my own decisions. Therefore I do not care about what anyone thinks of me and it will stay that way. The caring part, eventually the dating can start. OMG it is awesome. I am a self-proclaimed geek/nerd and I love being one.
Things that make me happy:
- Watching a movie over and over again until I can repeat it
- Sewing, crocheting, making jewelry & crafting
- Spending hours sitting on my back porch reading
- Hanging out with no one, hanging out with my kids
- Writing silly blogs
- Working in my yard
I realized that I used to apologize for my nerdiness. Not anymore in fact in the last two years, I found my backbone. It’s kinda cool. I crocheted this awesome sweater last week to match a pair of sweet fox leggings I own. Of course the first person to comment on it was my Ex when he came over and of course, it went something like this “Um, you aren’t actually going to wear that in public are you?” This kind of statement used to really get to me. It made me doubt myself and destroyed my self-confidence.
But not anymore. I politely turned to him and replied, “Only when I go to your office to introduce myself to your coworkers.” Oh man, did that feel GREAT!
Now, I know this seems petty, but at that moment I realized I didn’t care what he thought. That it only mattered how I felt. I did wear it on Monday and received a ton of compliments and “wow, you made that?” While it was nice to hear and I was thankful for every nice comment, it still only mattered that I loved it.
I always wanted to be Daphne but I’m Velma and I like being Velma (referencing Scooby Doo for those of you not getting it). Velma is awesome, she is smart, vivacious and unapologetic for who she is.
I am a contradiction of things. I think as humans we try to categorize people into groups such as nerds, jocks, pretty people, etc. Well, I believe no is just one thing. I am a nerd, a member of the Junior League, tattooed, have a face piercing and dress like a business person every day. I love wine and tequila. I crochet, thrift shop, read, and hate horror movies. I have a ton of high heels and prbly just as many converse chucks in my closet. I love every detail of who I have become. I don’t apologize for who am I anymore and I stopped worrying about what people think.
I do on the other hand try to be forthright, caring and understanding. I am conservative in my beliefs but I don’t argue or put down others who believe differently. I am what I am. At almost (ugh) 45, I kick ass. And the next guy to come in my life, better love it all. (That next guy is Captain America, I’m positive he is real)