Did I ever think this would happen? No. I always thought I would have something to say during an Awkward Moment. Usually it is something completely inappropriate but I always had some great (sarcastic) thing to say. Who knew I could ever draw a blank in the middle of a conversation.
Well, to be honest, I did have something to say but the people I happen to be conversing with were new coworkers. My old coworkers, no problem, hell, HR probably breathed a huge sigh of relief when I put in my two week notice. I was a walking HR violation with the things that came out of my mouth. The problem is, I am now in a new office surrounded by people I am trying really hard not to make uncomfortable.
Let me set the stage: New job, new coworkers and trying to be professional.
This is a bad combination for me. In fact I am just trying to gauge the temperature of my coworkers humor. My old coworkers, the automatic comeback was “yeah, it is” in a totally dirty voice – thanks Rob. Didn’t matter what we were talking about. Kind of like when you go to a Chinese restaurant and everyone takes a turn reading their fortune cookie and the automatic follow up is “in bed.” If you don’t know that game here is a link explaining. It will forever change your outlook on fortune cookies.
Back to what happened, I am sitting around a table with five other people and someone pipes up with “It was huge, like 10 inches!”. OMG no one should say this around me. First off, most women cannot measure correctly because of the discrepancy of what six inches actually is. Then to throw in the comment of huge and 10 inches… My gut reaction was to spit out “That’s what she said” but stopped myself just in time. I couldn’t think of anything appropriate to say. I probably looked like a goldfish, open mouth, close mouth, open mouth, close mouth. Still, nothing I could say would have been appropriate and I ran at least 20 comments through my head before I just decided silence was best. I completely just shut up.
Maybe I am actually growing up. Maybe I am learning to bite my tongue. Or maybe I am just realizing that silence truly is golden. I doubt it.